The Gentle Art of the Greeting

Ah, so good of you to join me...

Have you ever been standing in a beautiful garden, the sun shining, the birds chirping, perhaps a fine mist enveloping your face from a nearby water fountain? Have you then turned to see your friend who you are meeting for a stroll walking towards you, and filled with happy surprise you say, "Why hello, I didn't see you over there!"

Or perhaps you are in your study on a chilly fall evening, wearing your favorite smoking jacket, smoking a pipe filled with Ethiopian tobacco, leafing through a first edition of Moby Dick. You hear a creak and smell jasmine and hibiscus, and you turn to find your mistress approaching, wearing an elegant laced shawl. "Why good evening..."

Welcome to the Gentle Art of the Greeting.

Or that is how it was so elegantly put by my friend, a fine illustrator who has a wonderful blog of her own. I suggest you go there right this minute.

Farewell.

Note to Self

When you're playing around with keyboard cleaner and spraying yourself with what you think is air, make sure it is in fact a keyboard cleaner and not aerosol adhesive.

Civil War, Here I Come

Wednesday will be my debut at the Civil War Round Table of New York, a gentleman's club that meets to discuss the atrocious income and property-ownership inequalities faced by women. No, just kidding. We actually meet to discuss the Civil War.

Wednesday's topic: Sherman's campaign in Georgia. Good old William T. is considered by many historians to be one of the great geniuses of the war, and perhaps did more to advance military tactics than almost any other figure at the time.

If this were not exciting enough and more than sufficient cause to attend, the Civil War Round Table of New York has this photograph on its website...













I just urinated in my pants, that's how excited I am.

Bayonets!!!!

The movie Gettysburg pretty much defined my adolescence. Here is a clip of what was probably my favorite part. The power and raw emotion that Colonel Chamberlain elicits when he screams "bayonets!" is yet to be matched in the cinema. (On a side note, I was fortunate enough to meet Jeff Daniels, the actor who played Chamberlain, several years ago, and I spent about 5 minutes telling him he was my hero. I asked if he would ever want to have a Civil War re-enactment with me and he said he would love to but was really busy and therefore could not - I get that a lot).



Also, I just came across this Gettysburg re-creation, which is one of the funniest things I've seen it at least 2 or 3 years.

Hi

The wife of Bill Gates goes by the name "Melinda French Gates." I think this is funny. Very close to "Melinda French Doors." Ahem, anyway...

Cordially Not-Yours,

Hi. I have recently become interested in cool ways to close letters/e-mails. Here is an initial list of some ideas. Please feel free to provide suggestions in the "comment section" of this website.

What in the sam hill,
May the Force be with you,
Live long and prosper,
God save the queen,
As you were,
Most hopeful surprises,
Warm and infectious wishes,
No plan survives first contact with the enemy,
Be that as it may,
Goodbye forever,
To infinity and beyond,
Man proposes, god disposes,
May god have mercy on your soul,
Heaven help us,

New Blog

Well, I'm starting a new blog. It's called Trader Joe's Pizza Blog. One of the reasons why I have not updated this blog very much is because I'm spending every free second experimenting with making pizza. Anyway, god be with you.