To subscribe:



Monday, November 29, 2021

The Way of the Bread

Who knows the Way of the Bread?  The ancient grains, the ancient yeasts?  How do you bake the perfect loaf?  Great artisans have perfected the craft over thousands of years.  What are some of the best breads?  Well, ok...

1) In downtown NYC you can go to Eataly, an Italian market.  There there is a bread baked with provolone and pancetta.  This very ancient bread, which some say dates back to Pompei before its destruction, is incredible.

2) In Romania there is a town nestled in a valley where there is a stream. If you go there a man named Frank is the town baker. Frank makes an incredible sourdough peasant loaf, the aroma of which wafts through the valley and makes even the birds stop in mid-flight to take in the incredible smells and aromas. However once they stop in mid-flight they drop to the ground and die.  Do they die in mid-flight from the smell of the aromas, or do they simply become overwhelmed, fall, and die from impact?

There are other breads out there.   Let the bread adventures begin. 

Saturday, August 21, 2021

The Way of the Sauce

  1. Most, but not all things, should be sauced
  2. In terms of quantity of a particular sauce used, there is a range of sauce that can be put on various foods, but there is such a thing as too much sauce
  3. In terms of quantity of the types of sauce, having many sauces available can be good, but sometimes, and perhaps even frequently, it's fine to have just one sauce
  4. Sauces with fresh herbs are good.  Use fresh herbs as often as possible.
  5. Get a sauce expert wife - and then let her be the expert - don't mess with a sauce boss

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Casualties of Cream

 One day I was eating an ice cream sundae with fresh whipped cream.  Yes, it also had hot fudge and peanuts, but it was the cream that took it to another level.  It was so delicious I kept eating and couldn't stop and I died.  

Saturday, July 31, 2021

Allah's Ancient Breads

 I had just returned from the Levant, where I was working a job.  You know, a job.  There was much I didn't miss from that land, but I did miss the breads...and the oils.  

While I was in the Levant I met Abadezikah, who descends from a long line of bread artisans who know the ancient ways.  Heck, his descendants created the ancient ways!

Once, we were sitting in the desert as the sun was going down, and our dry, sunburnt faces felt the cool breeze.

"Tell me Abadezikah of the ancient oils."

"Ah yes, my friend, Allah bless you, the oils are mixed with earthy vegetables, garlic, and the seasonings...may Allah protect the seasonings!"

"Oh, I see. And the breads, how did your people learn the Way of the Breads?"

"All comes from Allah. Allah wanted us to enjoy the oils and knew we needed a vehicle, a sponge, for the oils.  When I was a boy the elders entered into trance states and the spirits of our ancestors showed them how to make breads how Allah intended.  The elders taught me how to make the breads, but they didn't teach me the way to commune with our departed ancestors, so sometimes I wonder if I really am making the breads the way Allah intended. What if the elders didn't teach me correctly, or I didn't learn properly?"

At that I shivered.  Were the breads not prepared the way Allah intended?  Had there been a breakdown in communication?  Why hadn't the elders taught Abadezikah the way to commune with his ancestors?  The breads...and oils...made by Abadezikah were incredible, but were they not the true ancient breads...and oils?

I thought these things as I walked through New York.  Then I saw a cozy little restaurant called Shukette and I could smell things I liked, things I wanted.  I went inside and got a table.  A waiter came to me and spoke.

"Welcome to Shukette!  Sparkling, still or tap?"

"Just give me water for christ's sake!"

I looked over the menu and saw all manner of small plates and breads...and oils.  The waiter returned with my water.

"Let me tell you about our Levantine bread program!"

"You idiot!  Just give me all your breads and all your...oils."

The food was incredible, even better than that of Abadezikah!  Had this restaurant in New York somehow made contact with the ancient ones who learned to make bread from Allah himself?

The end.

Sunday, July 18, 2021

Thursday, July 1, 2021

Dog Journal

Can I remember when I first began to love dogs, I mean really love dogs?  Was it going to 7 Eleven before hebrew school and picking up 2 dogs and a soda for 2 bucs?  Was it grilling brats in college and developing a taste for spicy brown mustard?  If I think hard enough can I really pinpoint when I developed an infatuation with ground-up cured meat filled in casings?  

All I know is now there's nothing quite like a good dog, nicely griddled or grilled, on a good roll, perhaps with onions -- sauteed or raw -- mustard, and who knows what else?  I recently have partaken in some good dogs.

Five Guys is known for its burgers, but did you know they have a fine hot dog?  It's sliced so there's more surface area for the griddle, and to act as a bed for all the fixins you may choose from.  I went with sauteed onions, pickles, and mustard.  I was debating whether to get relish or pickles, I suppose I could have got both, but I just got the pickles.  Was that a mistake?  Anyway, it was a good dog!

Next I went to Pastrami Queen, a New York City deli and pastrami purveyor.  Apparently they had a dog with spicy deli mustard and sauerkraut.  I entered the restaurant.  "I hear you have a hot dog," I said.  "Yes, we do."  "Ok, give me one."  They ended up giving me one for $4.  How was it?  Not bad!

What dog will I have next?  Tune in next time to find out.

Tuesday, June 1, 2021

Shared Beans

Once, beans were good, beans were shared.  Hello my friend!  Hello.  Let's make beans together.  Kidney, pinto, great white?  The beans are all good so long as we make them together, so long as we share.

And so the beans were made.  Let's add some olive oil, onion, garlic, until you smell the aromas, until the aromatics turn soft.  Ok, now time to add some beans and liquid.  Now let's simmer for a long time.  Oh friend, I can't wait to eat our beans.

The beans are now ready to eat, and you can smell the rich, incredible flavors!  Who knew that beans could be so flavorful, so wonderful?  But wait.  He pulls his pistol.

"We will not be sharing these beans.  I will eat them myself!"

"But you said these would be shared beans!?"

"I said it, but I never meant it."

"If you kill me the beans will never taste good."

He blew my brains away, and, indeed, when he ate the beans they never tasted good.  My brains looked a bit like beans when you think of it.  


Friday, May 7, 2021

Arctic Blubber

Captain's log -- November 13, 1824.  Me and my men chart a new course deep into the dark waters up north in search of arctic blubber.  Yea, just one leviathan possesses enough blubber to light all the lamps of London for a year.  Subsisted on salted cod and spinach for 3 months, we have.  But the good Lord has been merciful so far and not one has perished.  Tomorrow will we catch our fish?

Postscript:  Captain T.R. Price sunk with his men and his ship the next day, and his diary is all that remains.

Sunday, April 25, 2021

Hallmark Movie Template

Location

  • Small town in Northeast during fall or spring; or small town in Pacific Northwest during winter

Cast of characters

  • Susy Boyles - main character; career-driven with unlucky prior dating history
  • Dirk Williams - well-intentioned, successful doctor who starts dating Susy but they clearly do not connect
  • Chip Vanderson - nice and non-offensively sarcastic; hard-working and successful but has non-traditional career; he and Susy somehow meet and keep bumping into each other and act as if they irritate each other but actually love each other
  • Dad or best friend (best friend is person of color) - funny, loyal, trying to get Susy to settle down and see that Chip is the right one
Plot
  • See cast of characters above; Susy tells Dirk she loves Chip and Dirk graciously bows out; Susy and Chip end up together
Notes
  • Shoot in studio and make extensive use of computer-generated backgrounds and stock background footage
  • Variations include holiday themes, Chip has a daughter and the mother died, Susy's mother recently died, Susy and/or Chip work volunteer with children with special needs, Susy and Chip are business competitors, or other

MS Paint Gallery

 



Saturday, April 24, 2021

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Sunday, March 14, 2021

Special Bodhisattva

Oh sweet god I feel terrible today!  Woke up but did I really sleep?  I may have, but I'm not sure.  Either way, I don't feel like I slept.  My eyes feel heavy and I have a dull headache.  The shower doesn't help, nor does the coffee.  I feel like a piece of crap!  

I go to work, and I think people are looking at me.  "Hi, John!" I say to John, but he walks away.  What have I done?  Why don't people like me?

For lunch I decide I need to leave the office.  I cross the street and I see little children pointing at me.  What is going on?  I look at my reflection in a car window, and I think I look "normal."  Just then a car drives by and water from a paddle is splashed all over my pants!  Did I mention my pants don't fit well?  The waist is too tight, but the leg is too baggy and the break...well, I won't even go there.

I need help.  I can't keep going like this.  What is the point of all this?  

Just then I look up and see one who is at peace, who is content.  "Who are you?" I ask.

"I'm your special bodhisattva!"

"Oh thank you!"

The end. 

Sunday, March 7, 2021

Coming Soon

The Air Between Us: A devastating portrait of a young couple in 1930s New York struggling with flatulence. 

Saturday, January 2, 2021

The Mouse and I: Chronology of Events

Dec. 30

  1. Lying in bed reading.  Wife is sleeping.  I look up, and see a mouse moving from bedroom entrance to the closet area.  I swear, it seems as if the mouse stops for a second and looks at me, and then keeps going.  

Dec. 31

  1. Lying on sofa next to wife watching television.  I feel something on my side.  Is it the tassel from the blanket?  But I keep feeling something and so I pull up my t-shirt and look and for a brief second I swear I can see something run under the sofa cushion.
  2. A little while later, my wife and I hear rustling in the kitchen where we keep our trash and recycling.  I go into the kitchen, and when I turn on the light I see the mouse run away.
  3. My wife starts cleaning the apartment at 10pm on New Year's Eve.  We have a few of the sticky mouse traps, the flat cardboard traps with super-adhesive material.  I place two in the kitchen and one in the living room. 

Jan. 1

  1. We hear the mouse in trash again, but even though I go into the kitchen and inspect, I never see the mouse.

Jan. 2 

  1. Wake up.  Wife says she heard squeaking during the night and thinks the mouse is caught.  
  2. A few minutes later, I hear wife in kitchen screaming, and she runs into bedroom.   
  3. Go to kitchen and find mouse stuck in trap and struggling.
  4. Put plastic bag around mouse and trap and tie the bag, and stick in trash
  5. Take trash with mouse and put outside at building garbage site
  6. Wife reads that you can pour vegetable oil on mouse and trap, which will allow the mouse to detach from trap.
  7. Retrieve mouse, which is still alive, and tear bag open.  Take mouse to park.
  8. Pour oil on the mouse and on the trap.  The mouse is able to pry itself a little, but needs assistance, so I help pry mouse from trap.
  9. Mouse seems in bad shape.  It tries to move but falls to its side a couple of times.  Seems like its leg is broken, if such a thing is possible.  I stay for a while, and it seems possible it's reviving, but I'm unsure if it will make it.
  10. Several hours later I return.  At first, I don't see it, and I'm happy, thinking it got better enough to scurry away.  Then, I see it.  It's dead.


Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Bean Journal

What:  Made my first pot of artisinal, heirloom beans from Rancho Gordo.  Used the "King City Pinks."  

Process:  Soaked over night in water.  In fact, didn't start cooking the beans until around 2pm.  Used a crockpot.  Heated to high.  Added onion, carrot, black garlic, oregano, and olive oil.  Cooked a little.  Then added the beans, with soaking water, and some additional water.  Cooked beans quite a while, until around 6pm.  Cooked longer uncovered.  Added salt.  

Result: Good, damn good.  The broth was very good.  I thought it would be thicker, but this was a soupier broth.  Honestly, the beans probably could have used more cooking, but we were getting mighty hungry.  Added some grated parm and ate with a sesame seeded semolina roll.  

-Joseph Bean

Monday, August 10, 2020

Garlic Billy - Part III

Well, I'll spare you all the details of how Billy Garlic finally found himself face-to-face with Johnny Pringle.  Let's just say Billy Garlic proved himself a worthy adversary, and with the help of his Colt Peacemaker he took down Pringle's gang, including but not limited to Friar Obese, Twisted Fletcher, and Michael Billy.  But as he was about to find out, the gang was one thing, Pringle another.   

The two men stared at each other (yes, at that time it is fair to say Pringle was a man).   In the room were trays of Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic, Shrimp Scampi, Garlic Bread, etc. The smell of garlic was overpowering. 

"There is more garlic here than any one man needs.  Why are you taking it all?" Garlic Billy asks.  

"Why do you think you were able to overtake all my men, even Friar Obese?" Pringle asks.

"Because I'm the fastest shot in the West."

"And why are you the fastest shot in the West?"

"God-given talent and practice."

"Ha! God-given talent is maybe one way of putting it.  Another way of putting it is that you've had more than your fair share of garlic, and you have good garlic receptors."

Garlic Billy didn't exactly know what Pringle was saying, but he understood enough.  Hadn't he always felt a special, almost mystical connection with garlic?  Didn't he know that garlic strengthened him, made his senses sharper?  

Pringle continues:

"Sure, most people like garlic, they'll add it to this dish and that dish.  But only some people are built so that the garlic molecules interact with their bodies to produce truly incredible effects.  I realized this and consumed more and more garlic, until I realized I would need a truly awesome amount of garlic to achieve what is necessary."

"What is necessary?" asks Billy Garlic.

"The way things are, life can be nice.  If you're lucky, you have what you need, maybe you have a family and some children, but someday you will die, someday your children will die, and some day this whole planet will be gone!  Every person, every achievement, every piece of art, will be gone!  But what if there was a way for all of this to be remembered, for it not to turn into a cold, infinite nothingness?  Well, it is possible, but first me, or someone like me, needs to consume an astronomical amount of garlic.  Once I've had enough, I'll pass into the next and final stage of evolution, I will become everything, and I will keep the memory of this planet alive."

"So you're a real hero!  You're doing this for the good of humanity!" 

"I'm doing this because this was meant to happen, or at least it was hoped for in some weird way.  The way the physics works, there's only enough garlic for one person to reach the next level.  I suppose it could have been you if you figured things out earlier, but I happened to discover this before you.  And I'm not sure if you would have had the strength to go through with it, anyway."

"You no good bastard!  You're taking all the garlic so you can have some kind of mystical experience, and all of us are going to just go on without any garlic!"

"You'll all be ok, you can live without garlic, and when your time comes, it comes.  At least I'll be able to take your memory with me, and it will not be as if you never lived."

"It isn't right!  Even if we die, even if there is nothing else, we all deserve some of the garlic, to experience what limited pleasure and meaning we can experience!"

"Anything meaningful that doesn't last is not meaningful.  This is the only way."

I could tell you more, but the rest is details.  It's now many years since this fateful encounter took place.  Garlic Billy is long gone, and so is Timmy Tooka, Blackjack Billy, Sally the Whore, and all the rest of them.  But I still am, and I know their stories, and therefore it wasn't all for nothing.

The End.

Friday, July 24, 2020

Garlic Billy - Part II

Little Timmy Tooka found Billy Garlic on the outskirts of town, sitting on a dusty road, looking out at the hills. As Little Timmy approached he stepped on a twig, and there was a SNAP, and Billy Garlic instantly had his pistol trained on Timmy.

"You should be careful boy," said the Garlic one.

"Sir, don't be mad at Demont, he's a good one.  He hasn't been himself since the garlic went away."

"Since the garlic went away?"  

"You see, well, Johnny Pringle and his gang take it all!  They were always no good keesters."

"Tell me more about this Johnny Pringle," Garlic says.

"What's to say?  No one is quite sure where he came from, but he rode into town one day, much like yourself with all due respect, and soon enough he started recruiting some of the boys in town and formed his gang.  It wasn't long before they were raiding all of the garlic farms."

There was some silence, and Timmy Tooka started scratching his buttocks and accidentally let go a loud toot.  His face turned red and Garlic Billy looked away in embarrassment.  Choosing to ignore the toot, Garlic Billy went on:

"I haven't had fresh garlic in weeks. I feel like I have maybe 40% of my soul.  I feel that soon I'll be a walking ghost if I don't get some fresh garlic."

Little Timmy gets up the courage to speak after his embarrassing toot: "Sir, there's one more thing.  Ever since Pringle and his gang have been stealing all the garlic, well, they've changed.  It's like they have new powers.  They glow in the dark, and once I saw Pringle himself pick up a man with one arm and throw him halfway across town."

Garlic Billy listened.  He knew it was destiny that brought him to this town.

To be continued...

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Garlic Billy - Part I

It's a blistering day in the town of Frebobin,  and there is dust everywhere, blowing through the dirt streets, blowing into the parlours and barbershop and general store.  Wait!  There on the horizon, there is a speck, a small something, but it seems to be getting a little bigger, is it coming closer?  

Little Timmy Tooka watches the speck, and after a few minutes, there's no question about it, the speck is getting bigger!  Could it be?  Yes, there's someone coming across the desert!

An hour later the Stranger arrives on horseback, his chin resting on his poncho'd sternum, his sombrero covering his head.  He looks up, and is tan with black whiskers and blue eyes.  The Stranger sees Little Timmy Tooka.  

"Lad, water my horse."  

Tooka approaches, and the stranger flicks him a quarter-piece.  The Stranger dismounts.

"Sure, mister" says Timmy Tooka.  

The Stranger walks on over to Demont's, the local chop house.  A sign says "Best Garlic Chicken in Town."  Tooka quickly ties up the horse and follows the stranger into the chophouse.

When the Stranger enters, all eyes point in his direction.  Blackjack Billy stops dealing cards, Sally the Whore stops chatting with Adulterous Pete, etc.  The Stranger heads to the bar.

"Give me a whiskey and some of that garlic chicken," says the Stranger.

Demont, the bar tender and proprietor, pours a whiskey, and the Stranger downs it.  "One more."

Not long after the so-called garlic chicken arrives.  The Stranger already knows, but just to be sure, he cuts a piece of the chicken and tastes.  His fist pounds the bar.  THUD!!!  Everyone stops and stares.

"What is this?" demands the Stranger.

"That's our garlic chicken," says Demont.

"Oh yeah?  And where's the garlic"

"Well, see mister, this isn't like the old times.  We do the best we can.  We use a garlic.....powder."

"I knew it!  No self-respecting establishment advertises the best garlic chicken in town, only to use powder and not fresh garlic!"

"Sir, the sign, it's old, it's from the days when fresh garlic grew in abundance, and there was garlic for all."

The Stranger sighs.  "Garlic for all."

The Stranger sits quietly for a moment, and then gets up and walks towards the door.  All are watching him.

"Sir, just who are you?" asks Demont.

Without turning he says "Billy Garlic" and walks out, the doors swinging in his wake.

To be continued....

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

ALARM WON'T STOP BEEPING!!!

I don't actually remember when I got the watch, a Casio digital watch.  I don't know who gave it to me, all I know is that one day the watch was on my wrist!  Oh, this is a nice little watch, I thought.  Gives me the time, day, date, there's a stop watch, I really like it!  It's good to know the time. 

The first night I remember so well.  I fell into a peaceful sleep but then I was roused by a beeping noise.  Hello what!?!?!?   There was an annoying, vintage beeping sound.   Beep beep beep beep.  The watch!  Indeed, it was the watch beeping, and the time showed 1:00am.  The beeping would not stop.

I did some googling and searched you tube - how can I turn the beeping off my Casio watch?  But even though I am sure I followed the directions, the beeping persisted!  I swear I spent the entire night trying to turn off the beeping, but I couldn't!  The beeping finally stopped around 7am.

Well, perhaps it was a fluke?  I went about my day, tired, but confident the same thing would not happen again.  Bed time came and I slept until the beeping started at 1am!!!!  Not again!

The next day I went all over the city to watch repair shops, and no one could help me!  Weeks went by, and still, every night at 1am, the beeping persisted.

I know what you're thinking: why not just take the watch off?  Well I couldn't!  There was no way to unstrap the watch, I couldn't slide it off my wrist, and even scissors would not cut the band!  I went to the ER, I went to an auto-body shop, no one could cut the watch off my wrist!

My last resort is hoping someone on Amazon can assist: Can not stop the beeping @ 1AM help


Saturday, July 4, 2020

Annals of Amazon Reviews

Review posted on Amazon for a Casio Pathfinder Triple Sensor watch (first published June 21 2016)

"Great Color contrast, Got this watch today and love the way it looks. Fit's perfect. I have 16 gshocks. And l have the prg270-1 Protrek. Now I have the pag240-1cr. I got for the sale price on @amazon.com. for $100.00 get watch of this quality. It's worth the price $160.00 that there asking now on Amazon. Great quality and durable. Waterproof to 100meter. Im a gshock collector been wearing gshocks for 33 years. I had the first one to hit the market in 1983. Casio Pathfinders and protrek watches are very durable and Dependable. I know a lot of people in the Military that where them.Buy you won't be sorry. UPDATE! ! MARCH 17TH ,2017. I had this watch for 9 months now and it still looks brand new. I where it just about every day. I have 30 Gshocks and 5 Protrek watches. I use this watch most because it so comfortable and light on your Wrist. Once you wear it alot. The band gets more comfortable. It is like breaking a new baseball glove in.The more you wear it the more comfortable it gets.UPDATED JUNE 21ST 2017. I HAVE HAD THIS WATCH FOR ONE YEAR TODAY. I LOVE THIS WATCH. I WEAR THIS WATCH AT LEAST 3 TIMES A WEEK. I WOULD WEAR IT MORE.,BUT I HAVE 6 PROTREK WATCHES AND 35 OTHER WATCHES. I HAVE THE PRG 270-1CR PROTREK AND THE PAG240T -7 TITANIUM BAND WATCH AND THE PRW 3500-1 CR PROTREK. AND THE PAG 280-1 CR THE ANALOG WATCH. AND THE PRW 3000-1A PROTREK. I LOVE ALL MY PROTREKS AND MY GSHOCKS. THIS IS MY FAVORITE FOR DURABILITY AND LOOKS. OUT OF ALL MY WATCHES. I WEAR THE GW 9400-1 RANGEMAN WHICH I LOVE THE MOST AND THIS WOULD BE SECOND. THEN AT NIGHT WHEN I RELAX.I WILL WEAR MY GWM 5610-1 GSHOCK WHICH IS A GREAT WATCH FOR A SMALLER GSHOCK. THIS IS THE BEST WATCH YOU CAN BUY FOR THE PRICE. TAKE FROM A GSHOCK AND PROTREK COLLECTOR. I HAVE BEEN WEARING GSHOCKS FOR ALMOST YEARS SINCE THE FIRST ONE CAME OUT IN 1983.I LOVE ALL GSHOCKS AND THE WATCHES BIG OR SMALL. THIS IS THE BEST FOR THE PRICE. LAST YEAR I GOT THIS WATCH $100.00 ON SALE THIS WATCH IS WORTH $200.00. THIS WATCH IS VERY POPULAR IN THE MILITARY. BUY IT YOU WILL LOVE IT GUARANTEED . I THINK I MIGHT HAVE TO MANY WATCHES. 35 GSHOCK WATCHES AND 6 PROTREK WATCHES IS A LOT. BUT I LOVE THEM ALL. I LIKE TO THANK AMAZON .BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN A PRIME MEMBER FOR A YEAR AND I AM SO HAPPY WITH THEIR SERVICE .GOOD LUCK ON ANY WATCH YOU BUY. THE BEST WATCH IS THE ONE THAT FITS BEST ON YOUR WRIST. Update: March 24th 2018. I have had this watch for almost 2 years. I now have 40 Gshocks and 15 Protrek watches. I love this watch.I wear this and the Rangeman Gshock the most. This is definitely the most durable Protrek. This should be considered a Gshock. This is a great watch. Take it from somebody who has been wearing gshocks for 35 Years and Protrek watches since 1998.UPDATE : June 21st . I have now had this watch 2 years.to date when I received it . I now have 2 of these . I bought another back in April of this year. The old one still looks brand new. You won't find a better ABC watch for the price. Buy at Amazon and save money. Some times you can buy it for $99.00 dollars when it goes on sale."

Sunday, June 28, 2020

Gummy Adventures - Part III

Hoppy Booby, the boobiest of all the hoppies, walks through the forest in a state of despondency, for the world is empty without delicious gummy treats to eat.  But wait!  There is a bright light emanating from deep in the forest, deeper than he's ever been.  He follows the light until he reaches a clearing, and there he finds a giant gummy, a rectangular monolith, and he seems the gummy robots from the factory, and they eat the giant gummy, but the giant gummy is not consumed. 

"Hoppy!"

"Here I am!"

"Take off your shoes, for thou art standing on hallowed ground"

"Who are you?"

"I am I am!  I like gummies."

"You like gummies, but you are also a gummy yourself?"

"Yes!"

"I have heard the creatures of the forest speak of you.  They say you created all of this.  Why?"

"I did not create everything, but I did create you, and I ensured you received gummy, because I loved you, and I wanted you to enjoy tasty artisinal gummies!" 

"Why did you take the gummies away?"

"All you did was frolic and nap and eat gummy, and you never sought me, and I was jealous and hurt.  I went to all this trouble, I created you, I gave you gummy, and you never even asked about me!"

"How foolish you are," Hoppy said.  "The Great I am's feelings are hurt?  Poor you! Even Chumpy the Squirrel doesn't get upset when I go days without seeing him!"

Hoppy Booby starts walking away.

"Where art thou going?" says the Great I am.

"Home.  I'll make do without gummies.  I'd now rather live without gummy, if gummy means being like you!"

The End.

Friday, June 26, 2020

Gummy Adventures - Part II

Let's take a quick step back and talk more about Hoppy Booby and his love of fresh, artisinal gummy treats.  Hoppy lives in a cozy cabin next to Milligan Stream, a babbling little brook!  The grasses are green and there are colorful flowers all over the place, and the weather is always beautiful, warm during the day, but not too warm, no humidity, cool breezes, and refreshing, cool evenings.

Hoppy Booby rides his bicycle, plays with his animal friends, swims, takes naps, and at night usually sits on his porch and spends time with his special animal friends.  This is when Hoppy will partake in his gummy treats!  He loves gummy worms, fishes, flowers and gummy blocks, which are the size and shape of bricks.

Hoppy is the only one who eats gummy - the animals say they can't eat gummy.  The animals - and Hoppy - eat Splorge, a porridge-like substance which flows out of natural Splorge wells.  For breakfast, lunch, and dinner, they all eat Splorge, but at night Hoppy savors his gummy treats.

But now there are no more treats...

To be continued...


Thursday, June 25, 2020

Gummy Adventures - Part I

A refreshing, happy day.  Green hills, vibrant blue skies, ponds, chirping birds.  There is a young man, Hobby Booby, running about.  Hobby Booby is the only human being that exists.  There are all sorts of animals, and some of the animals can talk.  But Hobby Booby is the only human, no father, no mother, no siblings, and he just came to be.  The animals, the ones that can talk, have told Hobby Booby that the Great I Am, Yahweh, created all that exists.

Hobby Booby loves gummies, and there is a gummy factory nestled in the forest, near Broddagon Pond.  The factory is run by gummy robots who produce all the gummy treats.  Every few days Hobby Booby walks to the factory to pick up a new supply of gummies, which are waiting for him.  He never talks to the gummy robots.  Can they even talk?

One day, Hobby Booby arrives at the factory, but there are no gummies to be had!  The factory is not operating, and the gummy robots are gone.

What is going on!?!?!?  Hobby Booby gets very scared.  How will he have his gummies?!?!?

To be continued...