"The finest food and pants blog on the web."

Saturday, December 6, 2014

In Search of Peppery Crusts

When I was born they all gathered around and said "that boy is special, that boy is meant for something great."  When I was a young one I didn't have many friends.  All the children knew I was different.  I remember it so clearly.  My family was driving through Texas on our way to New Mexico to hunt Native Americans.  We were stopped at a gas station and I wandered off.  I could smell something, something smokey.  I noticed a line of people.  I walked past them.  There was a large, hulking man with a red beard who was carving meat, meat the likes of which I had never seen or smelled.  The large, hulking man noticed me and smiled, and tore a piece of crust from the meat and handed it to me.  I sampled.  It was rich and peppery.  A choir of angels sang and light poured down from the heavens.  That's when I knew my purpose: to seek out great BBQ and peppery crusts. I am Pepper Bastard.