Right before my home planet was destroyed and my father placed me on a spacecraft to escape, he said to me, "son, you must always seek the best fried chicken and help others do the same, for the meaning of our lives is interwined with pieces of crunchy, well-salted poultry." My father then pressed the "launch" button and my tiny craft lifted off and I hurtled past the atmosphere, past our solar system, into deep space. Looking back, I saw my planet explode. My father was dead but his wisdom was not.
I was in my little craft for a long time, and I had many choices of planets which to inhabit. But it wasn't until I saw a little blue planet called Earth that I decided to end my journeys through the universe. What a beautiful but vulnerable little planet, I thought. So much good fried chicken, but so much bad fried chicken. This will be a good place to help the inhabitants, these humans, I thought.
Join me on my adventures. I am Fried Chicken Man.
To be continued.