Last week the Creamy Friends Gang visited the new Ample Hills ice cream compound in Gowanus. Ample Hills had already existed for a few years in Prospect Heights in the form of a delightful little neighborhood parlour. The owners, though, apparently had grander ambitions and so recently opened what can only be described as a Costco-like ice cream emporium, encompassing multiple floors and a rooftop observation tower.
Myself and my ragtag crew of creamy friends arrived by vehicular transportation. Our driver was Tumbles, a good old chap who wears thick glasses and can only say the word "chocolate." There was also Maritza, a sassy Latina, and Apples, a rather angry fellow. We wanted ice cream, and I specifically wanted a sundae. Ample Hills had started serving sundaes at their Prospect Heights location a while back, and my experience had been good.
An Ample Hills sundae starts with your choice of a brownie or "ooey gooey cake," a butter saturated loaf cake which is delicious. Then you choose your ice cream, and then it's hot fudge or caramel and whipped cream. On this visit I chose the butter loaf, malted vanilla ice cream, which was vanilla ice cream with pieces of chocolate malt balls, caramel, and of course I couldn't say no to the whipped cream! It looked to be a dense whip, unlike the recent "whipped cream" at Morgenstern's on the Lower East Side, which is more like foam. Morgenstern's can go to hell.
We all got our ice cream and then decided to go to the rooftop area. We walked up some stairs and entered a room filled with parents and annoying children. Something was wrong. The adults looked at us, and one woman in particular gave a vicious look. A man approached and said "can I help you?" "No you cannot, you son of a bitch; we're simply going to the rooftop sitting area!" I responded. He explained we couldn't get there the way we had come and we were intruding on their private party. We decided to back down and descended the staircase. We saw there was another staircase upstairs and found our way to the roof, where we dined on our creams.
Yes, my sundae was itself a creamy friend, luscious with its butter loaf and thick cream. Tumbles was not very happy because he had wanted to order salted caramel ice cream, but since he can only say the word "chocolate" he had chocolate ice cream instead. Apples, as mentioned, is an angry sort, so he went back to the party and threw the vicious-looking woman down the staircase, killing her instantly. Maritza, the sassy Latina, had this to say when Apples returned: "oh no you didn't!" Just another Creamy Friends Gang adventure.