"The finest food and pants blog on the web."

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Noah's Cream Ark

The world had turned wicked and god regretted his creation, and so he decided to send a great flood to wash the world of man.  But there was one, Noah, who was upright and enjoyed creams, and because of his righteousness, god decided to spare him and his progeny, so that the world might regrow from the seed of Noah.

And god spoke to Noah, who was sitting around eating an ice cream sundae, and god said to build an ark made of whipped cream with a length of 600 cubits, a height of 200 cubits, and a width of 100 cubits.

"If there is one kind of ark I know how to build, it's one made of whipped cream," said Noah.

So Noah, who was like 600 years old, set about making his cream ark.  When it was completed the skies turned dark and the gates of the deep were opened and the waters rushed upon the land, and when the waters crashed into the cream ark, the cream ark dissolved and fell apart and Noah and his family died.  The lord then realized that cream was not a good idea.

"Whoops," said the lord.