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Thursday, March 13, 2014

From Beginning to End: A Girl Scout Cookie Saga

I like a good Girl Scout Cookie. In fact, I like a bad Girl Scout Cookie. Which good or bad Girl Scout Cookie do I like the most? The Samoa, of course.

If you do not know what a Samoa is, I shall explain. But as one should never make any assumptions, I will first explain what Girl Scout Cookies are.

The Girl Scouts is an organization found within the United States (a country in North America) in which young girls put on vests and sew various badges onto said vests and go around performing various deeds and good works.

Cookies are baked goods comprised of sometimes flour, sugar, maybe eggs, perhaps nuts, occasionally chocolate. Many people like cookies and eat them (eating is when you place things into your mouth and then swallow and these things [which you've swallowed] go down into your pipes and are absorbed into your very being).

Girl Scout cookies are cookies the girls in vests sell to make money for their organization so they can buy more vests and badges to put on their vests. The Girl Scouts contract out to a cookie manufacturer who produces various varieties of these cookies the vest-people peddle, one of these varieties being the Samoa.

The Samoa is a coconut-based cookie drenched in caramel and covered in swirls of chocolate. It has an ever-so-slightly salty-savoriness to it. It is incredibly scrumptious.

The problem, which until this point I have kept hidden: the Girl Scouts only sell their cookies once a year, and I've always found it impossible to order more than 20 boxes per Girl Scout I can find. Although I usually track down around 50 Girl Scouts a season, 50 times 20 is 1,000, and 1,000 is far too few boxes of Samoas for a year.

The solution, which until this point I have not known: Keebler makes a line of cookies entitled "Coconut Dreams," which, as far as this reporter can tell, are identical to Samoas.

The problem, which until this point I have not had: Keebler makes a line of cookies entitled "Coconut Dreams," which, as far as this reporter can tell, are identical to Samoas.

The end: I die from eating too many Coconut Dream cookies.  An honorable way to go.