"The finest food and pants blog on the web."

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Soup Experiences

This is a funny picture of Prince eating soup

Today, for reasons too complicated to mention, I was forced (at gunpoint) to describe both my best and my worst soup experiences. It is not often that one needs to consider these things; however, I can tell you that it is quite a cathartic and invigorating experience. Since I have now considered what my best and worst soup experiences are, I thought I'd share...

Best Soup Experience
When I was in college I decided to take a bus from Pittsburgh to San Francisco, a trip that took 3 days. It was a tough trip, very cramped, very dirty, and very not clean in general. Grossest moment: when the overweight, middle-aged woman sitting next to me, on her way to visit her recently paroled boyfriend in Denver, took off her shoes and socks and lathered her feet in lotion.

Anyway, as I'm sure you can guess, it was extremely pleasant to finally get to San Francisco. I walked about in the cool, windy air and stopped at Fisherman's Wharf, where I had clam chowder soup in a bread bowl.

This was my best soup experience.

Worst Soup Experience
I was perhaps 7 years old, and this bully who lived up the street - his name was Jimmy - started harassing my brother and I. We were in the woods and Jimmy picked up a rock and threw it at my face, shattering one of my teeth into 3 pieces. I went to the dentist, who was like, "good god, this is not a job I can handle." We then had to go to an oral surgeon who proceeded to extract my shattered tooth.

When I got home my mom made me some Campbell's Chunky beef soup and I sat in pain - physical and emotional - eating my soup. Each time I swallowed a bite I went "ow!"

-Gulp.
-Ow!
-Gulp.
-Ow!
-Gulp.
-Ow!

This was my worst soup experience.