Beyond Good and Evil

Hi. Today I did something horrible and I've been trying to live with the guilt but I can no longer take it. This morning, you may recall, I offered up a muffin to the lowest bidder. Well, it was never my intention to eat said muffin, but as the morning wore on, you know, I started getting a little hungry and bored, and, you know, I kind of just ate it.

Believe me, I do not take this lightly. In fact, this turn of events is particularly disturbing in light of some information from my childhood that I recently relayed to a certain opponent of this blog. The information is the following: when I was about 8, I slashed the tires on my brother's bicycle using a butter knife in an attempt to impress a friend who was visiting (he was not impressed).

Anyway, I am completely calling into question my status as a decent human being. Can anyone out there admit to doing anything worse than these two things?