This is a secret dispatch. Please do not be fooled by the message below that says this blog is closing. I am currently being held against my will and tortured - they are making me look at pictures of people wearing horrible pants. I've been viewing these images for 12 hours straight and it's very hard on my psyche.
If you can rescue me, please do. If not, I'm sure I'll figure a way out of this - I've been in worse situations and managed to survive.