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Friday, August 22, 2008

Batman Actors Hanging Out at a Bar (rated R)

Clooney: Guys, I am so excited, I cannot wait for Obama to be president.
Kilmer: Clooney, we're sick of you talking about politics.

Seriously, Clooney, enough is enough. It doesn't even matter who is president.

Oh, I see how it is, The Dark Knight is like the biggest movie ever, and all of a sudden you feel like you're the man. Yeah, I see how it is. Well let's just not forget who here has an Oscar...

You people make me sick.

Kilmer: Shutup, shorty!
Clooney: Yeah...shutup, shorty!

(the group laughs -- except for Keaton)

Guys, guys -- look who just walked in, it's Meryl Streep...

....

She is so hot -- I'm going to go talk to her...

....

Well hello. I'm Christian Bale. Perhaps you've seen The Dark Knight? On it's way to becoming the highest grossing picture of all time? No? Well, I was just telling my friends how gorgeous you are! Ha!

....

Ha!

....

Ha?

....

Ahem...well, um, yes, ahem...ok, nice meeting you.

....


Bale: What a b$^*#! I wouldn't touch her if you paid me.

Pathetic. Watch this...

....

Keaton: Please don't be offended by that jerk. Hello, I am Michael Keaton. How are you feeling this evening?
Streep: Well, I am feeling all right. Today I went horseback riding in the Hamptons!

Oh my god! That is so interesting! Tell me more...

Well, the horse was brown...

Uh huh...

And we rode around for about an hour...

Mm-hm...

And then afterwards I had some iced tea!

You didn't!? Wow, that is fascinating. Hey, do you want to go back to my place?

Sure!

....

Bale: Whatever. She probably feels sorry for him because he's so short.
Kilmer: Yeah...
Clooney: Yeah...
Kilmer: Oh shutup, Clooney!
Clooney: No you shutup!
Bale: Both of you shutup!...

Oh Michael...Michael...
(a noise is heard in the background)

Streep: What was that?
Keaton: What was what?
Streep: There was a noise. Oh, wait, what the hell, who is that!?

Holy hand grenades!

Oh god. It's my roommate, Adam West. He still walks around in the bat costume. Adam - I told you to stay out of here when I have company!

Sorry...I'll leave now.

Now where were we...

THE END