This is unrelated to food and pants, but it's quite important.
I was sitting outside, talking to my brother on the phone, and I felt something on my arm and then my ankle. I looked at my ankle first and there appeared to be ketchup or something, sort of wedged between the crevice of my shoe. I looked up and thought, what the crap, is someone throwing ketchup?
Then I looked at my arm, and there was what looked to be the remains of some bird. It was like a bird had blown up and some of the carcass landed on me. There was an eyeball and what appeared to be a spleen. I wish I had taken a picture, but I was so shocked I didn't think about my blog and wiped everything off.
Anyway, be careful. There might be some exploding bird epidemic, or, as my boss suggested, perhaps there is a psycho who mutilates birds and throws their body parts on unsuspecting people.