A million years from now, who will remember the burger? No one, that's who! Nor will anyone remember you and your stinking life. It will be as if it never happened. That is why I have no problem taking down any man who stands between me a good burger. If you stand in my way I will cut you down and then my teeth will cut into the juicy patty I so crave.
On Friday, June 27 2014, I had plans to meet an old friend for ramen at 1:00pm. But lo the ramen house was not open, so we ended up at Shopsin's, a venerable New York City food institution. I ordered poutine, the godly Canadian dish of french fries, rich brown gravy, and cheese curds. Thank god for the Canadians. And then I ordered a patty melt.
Is a patty melt a burger? It's a beef patty, fried onions and cheese, pressed between typically rye bread which is then heated on a griddle or frying pan, causing the cheese and onions to smolder onto the meat. Whatever you want to call it, I like it.
I was going to continue this tale and tell you of my ultimate slaying of my friend, who stood between me and my patty melt, but I am tired and I will just say my patty melt was delicious and my friend is no more.