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Sunday, May 25, 2014

Chronicles of a Bastard

Oh what the hell are you looking at? Why can't people just leave me in peace!  I know I'm a bit scruffy looking, a bit nerf-herder looking; I know my life is stupid, a pointless nothingness drifting towards a meaningless death; I know all of these things!  But that doesn't mean you need to stare at me!

I have a job that pays my bills.  Nothing more will be said about my job.  Except that I hate it.  What a great scam work is!  How we waste our lives in labor (but our lives are meaningless anyway, so, I must admit, it's hard to waste something which is inherently without potential).

Because there's really nothing else to do I venture across the city in search of pizza.  Give me some god damned pizza, I say!  Ha-ha.  I will sit eating my pizza, angrily looking at all of the idiots who are around "enjoying" themselves.  "Oh I bet you think you're something special!" I'll say.  "Oh look at you! Eating pizza in New York City, thinking you're hot bologna!"

Two pizza places I recently went to I must tell you about, not because they were so good, but because I really don't have anything else to do.  One place is called Emily, in Brooklyn.  It's named "Emily" after the chef's wife.  Well isn't that sweet!  The people who work there are annoyingly cute and nice.  The music pumping out of the stereo is obnoxiously loud.  Why the hell must music be so loud in a dining setting?  The pizza at Emily is enjoyable enough.  I had one with pepperoni and honey.    Another place I went to is called Pizzarte in Midtown.  I had been there before.  They dimmed the lights and also pumped some jams.  I felt like I was in a club.  The food is good.  The pizza is good.  You won't die in ecstasy from eating this pizza, but it's definitely enjoyable.

That's it.  Go away.