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Friday, January 27, 2012

The Chronicles of Creams

Woe Is Me; Or, The Worst Fate to Befall a Lover of Creams

In the previous chronicle, I mentioned my confrontation with a Coffee Bean Brownie Concrete with Roasted Pineapple.  I enjoyed it, but was perhaps mildly underwhelmed.  I returned to the Shake Shack this evening, Friday, January 27, 2012, hoping to enjoy my go-to concrete:  vanilla custard, caramel sauce, shortbread cookies, and whipped cream.  Of all the varieties of concretes, and lord knows I haven't tried all 567,000 of them, this is my standard favorite.

Well, my day had already been one of the worst in my life, so why I expected things to go smoothly, I don't know.  But when I got to the end of my list of ingredients that I wanted in my concrete, smiling like an idiot at the cashier, the following words were spoken, most likely the worst combination of words I have yet heard on this planet:

"WE HAVE DISCONTINUED SERVING WHIPPED CREAM."

I stood there stunned, not able to say anything.

"Also, we will no longer be serving sundaes."

As this is akin to something disastrous, like finding out Darth Vader is your father, I screamed "Noooo, that's impossible!"

But it is possible, and a quick look at the Shake Shack menu confirms that whipped cream is no more.  Sundaes were never officially listed on the menu (or at least I think), but I'm assuming using prior logic, no whipped cream=no sundaes.

And now I close with some final words...

We are gathered here today to pay final respects to our honored dead. And yet it should be noted, in the midst of our sorrow, this death takes place in the shadow of new life, the sunrise of a new world; a world that our beloved whipped cream gave its life to protect and nourish. It did not feel this sacrifice a vain or empty one, and we will not debate its profound wisdom at these proceedings. Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the creams I have encountered in my travels, its was the most...creamy.