"The finest food and pants blog on the web."

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Chronicles of Creams

Whenever it's a dark and stormy November in my soul, whenever I take to the streets and drive my fists through the faces of babies, I find it high time to get myself a Shake, Sundae or Cream.  Yesterday, January 11 2012, was such a day. Luckily, I was close to the Madison Square Park Shake Shack, an oasis of the objects chronicled in these chronicles.

Now dear reader, before you continue on this journey with me, understand that just several days prior I had a confusing Cream experience (see prior Chronicle for more).  One confounding Cream experience in a week is disorienting and difficult enough, but what was to follow was perhaps even more inexplicable.

I will transcribe what followed, to the best of my admittedly poor memory:

- I'll have a sundae, please!
- Oh I'm sorry, sir. We're out of Sundaes...
- Really?  Darn!  Well, do you have concretes?? (insert: Concretes are custard with various toppings mixed in).
- Yep!
- Oh, great!  I'll have vanilla custard, shortbread cookies, caramel sauce, and whipped cream!
- Oh! We're out of whipped cream...
- Dammit! Well fine, without the whipped cream then...

I think I was really too stunned to ask any questions at that moment.  At McDonald's, I had explicitly asked why they had snack-sized McFlurry's but not Mediums.  However, this was too much - yet another cream quandary.

However, now as I sit in the comfort of my home, the fire blazing, on my favorite recliner wrapped in a warm blanket, I can ponder the situation.  Oh, excuse me, the kettle is boiling, I'll be right back.

Ah yes, I'm back, now with a cup of tea. Anyhow, the simplest solution is usually the correct one.  Facts:

-They didn't have sundaes
-They did have concretes, meaning they had the custard
-They didn't have whipped cream

Now, what does it mean to have a sundae or not have one?  Let us naturally assume the following components: ice cream (or in this case, custard); hot fudge; whipped cream; peanuts.  I will grant you, my good man - or woman, I guess - that quite a lot of variation can occur in the Art of the Sundae.  Yet, given my sundae experiences at Shake Shack, these have been the components that Shake Shake defines as necessary for a sundae.

Then, my dear Watson, given what we know, and the laws of deduction, they didn't have Sundaes because they didn't have whipped cream! Elementary.