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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Accidents That Look Like Other Accidents

For some reason - perhaps I was a bully in a past life who beat up kids who wet their pants - I have a freakish tendency of spilling liquids on myself in a certain area that would make it appear that I peed in my pants.

If ever I am drinking a liquid and I spill it (which happens about 95% of the time) there is a 96% chance that the liquid will end up in my "crotch" area.

Another common problem is that I go to wash my hands in the bathroom, or I'm just using a sink in general, and water on the counter gets on my pants, also in the "crotch" area.

A recent wetting, caused by leaning against a counter while filling up my water bottle

Anyway, it's a very embarrassing problem. What I usually do is walk up to every person in the vicinity, usually strangers, and simply say something like, "hey, I actually didn't pee in my pants, I just spilled my soda - have a nice day!" This is a great way of making things less awkward and people are usually like, "oh, whew, for a second there I thought you really wet yourself!"

THE END