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Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Supercuts Has Ruined My Life

When did it start? I believe it was during college. Yes, it was college. I needed to have my hair cut; I was walking down the street; there was a Supercuts. Ah, it was nicely appointed and there were people inside just waiting to have their hair cut. Why not join them, I thought.

This was perhaps the most fateful decision of my life. "Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny," so said Master Yoda. The 'dark path' is clearly Supercuts. Since I first made that decision to walk into Supercuts, I have been caught in a whirlwind of events beyond my control. I have had a few decent, or mildly acceptable haircuts from Supercuts, but all in all the cuts have been devastating and have taken months to years to recover from, both physically and emotionally.

"Beware of the Dark Side (Super Cuts)"

To be fair - and I am nothing if not fair - I have a very funny shaped head. Also, my ears are rather large. This makes it much more difficult for me to get a good haircut. I mean, if your head is normal, it doesn't matter as much. But the stylist needs to be very attuned to the shape of his or her client's head. A great stylist can accomodate for big ears like mine.

For me, this means that the back and sides, close to the ears, cannot be short, otherwise it accentuates the grandiose nature of my auditory appendages. Also, it looks stupid for me to have a 'fade,' in which the back and sides are short and the top is long. It just doesn't work with the shape of my face and head.

A week ago when I got my hair cut at Supercuts, I specifically said, uh, excuse me, I have very big ears so please do not take much off around them. What does she do? Why, she takes too much off around the ears! Were you listening to me or am I not even a person!?

Anyway, this just sucks. I swear in this public forum that I will not go to Supercuts again! I am swearing off this co-dependent relationship. My roommate goes somewhere that seems good. He pays $40, but quite frankly, since I usually go to Supercuts twice (an initial cut, then going to another Supercuts to get the initial cut fixed) I end up paying $40 anyway.

Ahhhh!


No! Do not cut that ribbon! This world does not need another Supercuts.