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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Only 5 Billion Years Until the Sun Blows Up

Sometimes life (that is, shopping for and wearing pants) is so difficult.

Last Thursday I was going through an existential pant crisis. I just sort of decided I didn't really like any of the pants I own. It's a horrible thing when that happens. You have all these pants, and all of a sudden you're like, wow, my pants really suck.

I decided I wanted to purchase perhaps a pair of chinos, although I was also interested in cords. I went to the GAP and they had NO chinos in my size. I wear 34x32 pants - not such a weird size. And it was the GAP by Lincoln Center, not the GAP by the world's largest sweater ever knitted by hand in Poopsville, Kentucky, or something like that. What has the GAP come to when, in a busy Manhattan location, they don't have 34x32 chinos? They were missing many other sizes as well. In a previous post I documented the decline of the GAP, and this was just further confirmation.

I then went to JCrew and tried on a pair of Regular Fit cords I was happy with. I thought, they're nice, they're casual but not sloppy and unrefined, I'm going to buy them. So I bought two pairs, a tan color and a dark brown color. Then I went home and tried them on and wondered how much I liked them.

Over the weekend I happened to see a JCrew catalogue at a friend's apartment and I started leafing through and I saw that not only does JCrew make a Regular Fit cord, but a Straight Fit, as well. I didn't know that. The Straight Fit looked great, like exactly what I wanted. I thought, ah, I'm stuck with these sub-par cords!

I had already cut the tags and worn one of the pairs of Regular Fit, but I thought I could perhaps exchange the other ones. I was so upset and thought my cords were not so good. I could have those better cords! They would look so much better. And then I'd be happy.

Me pulling my hair because I'm so frustrated about my pants

But then I thought, you know what, I like these cords. I'm not going to take them back. But then I thought, they're decent but those Straight Fit are better. Finally I decided I could never live with myself if I didn't at least go back to JCrew to try on the Straight Fit. I packed my pair of Regular Fit chinos into my knapsack and headed to JCrew (it's always preferable to not carry around a shopping bag with clothes because it's girly to shop).

Regular Fit

Straight Fit

I tried on the Straight Fit and they were way too snug and form-fitting. I suppose I could have tried on a larger size, but no, I had enough. I felt happy with my Regular Fit and left. I wore the brown pair today and think they're pretty good. The main problem is that I look a little chubby - I need to start "exercising." But sometimes I think, you know what, who cares, just sit around and eat pastries and Cuban sandwiches and if you gain a ton of weight, so be it. The sun is going to blow up, anyway.