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Saturday, April 20, 2019


It was a nice spring day, so I called out of work and went on an adventure!  First stop, David Chang's newest street cart-style shawarma parlour in the Time Warner Center, Bang Bar (bang is the tender, pita-like bread that serves as a receptacle for the meats).  I had been before, but I wanted to stop by for a morning mortadella.  "I'll have a mortadella and cheese, please!"  "Um, sorry sir, we actually don't have mortadella right now."  "Damn it! Ok, well I guess I'll have the cinnamon sugar bang, then."  What a let down!  I take my bang to the overlook and view Columbus Circle and Central Park while eating my bang filled with a sugary drizzle.  It's...ok.  But what's that sound?  Drip drip drip.  Oh god!  Drizzle is oozing from the bang and falling onto the floor.  Time to fly!  Next stop: Ole & Steen, on Broadway and 19th Street, a classic Danish bake shop and coffee house.  I order a "copenhanger," a poppy seed pastry lightly filled with marzipan.  Delightful!  Ok, what now?  A pizza lunch sounds good to me!  I head over to Massoni, Dale Talde's new pizza parlour inside the Arlo Hotel.  I order a pie to go and take it to Madison Square Park.  The pizza is what you might call Detroit nouveau, a delightfully caramalized, browned crust, bubbly mozz, and pepperoni cuppolas bathing in their own oils.  It's a bubbly bastard, to be sure!  Now I need a break, but that's because I have a date for 5:30pm at Au Cheval, the hip new Tribeca tavern.  Fast forward to 5:30, and the wait at Au Cheval is only 1.5 hours.  My companion and I head downstairs to a secret speakeasy for cocktails and chicken tenders.  The tenders are pretty good, not bad, but not mind blowing tenders.  When we are finally called to our table, we quickly get down to business.  "We'll have the cheeseburger and the bologna sandwich!"  "Um, we're out of bologna, sir."  "Damn it!"  Why am I having so many processed meat problems??  We make do with the cheeseburgers, which are sort of a cross between a Shake Shack, all American style, and a Minetta Tavern prime beef mineral funk style.  The burger is good, almost too salty.  The end.