Hello. Please sit down and let me tell you of a marvelous adventure. Last Saturday I awoke at 3:30am and suited up: I put on my favorite dark gray chino shorts, a crisp light gray t-shirt, and my green sneakers. Wallet? Check. GPS device (smart phone)? Check. Provisions (apples, granola bars)? Check. Courage? Need I even ask? I approached my beloved bicycle, Gerard, and spoke: "okay, old boy, today we ride like a thunderous gerbil, today we ride like there is no tomorrow." Gerard stood in majestic silence. He knew what was expected -- he always did.
We went into the cool night air and rendezvoused with our adventure party. Gerard was loaded onto the bike rack and we made the drive to Amherst, Massachusetts for a 70 mile ride through the countryside. Before our ride we needed energy, so we stopped off at a little local cafe called Dunkin' Donuts for some breakfast. We ate generously, not knowing when or if we might have that luxury again. We then made the final push into Amherst and rendezvoused with some other friends and we set out on a crisp, violently blue day. You should have seen us! We looked fantastic, although I must say I looked the best.
We rode like powerful, sensual gods through Massachusetts, riding through kale farms, college towns, and historic districts. In one town we stopped at Herrell's Ice Cream Parlour. which has been called one of America's top parlours by no less an authority than USA Today. I ordered a sundae with hot fudge, peanuts, and a mound of whipped cream. Herrell's takes its whipped cream seriously and has two basins filled with a traditional whipped cream and a chocolate whip. I had the traditional but I am a progressive man and support chocolate creams, as well.
At the end of our 70 mile journey my friends and I attended a picnic and ate hamburgers and hot dogs and laughed about the days adventures, such as when a playful ox tried stealing Gerard as we were taking a rest and filling up our canteens. Of course, Gerard was all over that shit, and the ox was forced to abandon his thieverous intentions. Ha-ha! It was excellent to eat meats sandwiched between buns with fellow adventurers after a long expedition. Gerard was nearby, glistening in the fading afternoon sun, the light from his steel body shining on my handsome, admirable face. How marvelous we were! And there are many adventures still to come.