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Friday, May 9, 2014

Episode IV: The Mallomar Strikes Back

Previously on Adventures in Mallomars, our hero finally conquered Bouchon Bakery and had his Mallomars and ate them, too.  Yet by the end all was not necessarily right in the state of Mallomar.  In the stunning conclusion it was revealed there was another:  Little Debbie Marshmallow Pies.  Let us continue this saga together....

"Mallomars are so delicious.  They're our only hope," said I.

"No.  There is another" replied my master.

"But what do you mean?" said I.

At that moment my master, who was munching on a Mallomar, started violently choking.  He turned blue and his eyes rolled back into his head and soon he was dead.

"Damn you!  Tell me of this other treat before you die," I screamed.

But death never gives back those it has taken.

Many years later I was sitting on a bench after a heavy rain and a truck over a large puddle and water splashed all over me.

"Damn you!" I screamed.

I ran after the truck, through the streets of New York, chasing the truck, running like the wind, like a warrior angel, faster than god himself.  I always get my truck, so it was no surprise that I soon caught up and started banging violently on the side of the truck.  The driver dismounted his seat and approached.

"What is the meaning of this!" he said.

"You went over a puddle and splashed water all over me!" I said.

He looked at me and saw what he had done and I could tell he was regretful and I was moved by his concern.  I looked at the truck (how true that when we are mad we fail to really see that which has angered us) and I noticed it was a Little Debbie truck.

"Oh, you make some nice treats," I said.

"Here, let me give you something to make it up to you!" he said.

He went into the cargo area and came back with a large carton.

"Why, what are these?" I said.

"Marshmallow pies," he said.

I looked at the box and noticed the picture.  Soft, buttery biscuit cookies filled with marshmallow and coated in a milk chocolate.  Wait a minute, I thought.  Wait.  Just you wait.  But no.  But yes.  These must be.  These must be them!

"Sir, are you ok?" said the truck driver.

I was flooded with memories of my master, at that point long since dead.  Surely these were the treats he spoke of!  I grabbed the box from the driver's hands and savagely opened it, pulling out one of the Marshmallow Pies and unwrapping it from its clear plastic prison.  It was pillowy yet tender, much like -- well, never mind.  I waited a moment and then took a bite. I then...

Tune in next time for the final chapter in this saga.  Thanks for joining today me on this adventure.