Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Man Who Ate Donuts Until He Died
It was a cold November day, in fact, there was a cold November rain. It was night. He walked into a Dunkin' Donuts, fully intending to buy an iced apple cider: nothing more, nothing less. But then he saw a fine selection of donuts. It was then, at that moment, that he decided he would eat himself to death, donuts being the medium through which this act would take place. It is not known if he originally had a plan on the type of donuts he would eat. For instance, all glazed? Or maybe all toasted coconut? Or perhaps some sort of alternation. Or perhaps he would eat any kind of donut he could get his hands on until the end came. Not only do we not know what his plans were, but we also don't know what kind of donuts he ended up eating. All that is known is that he ate so many donuts that his stomach burst and he died. He was buried in a cemetery and it was such a long time ago that his name and whatever inscription may have been placed on the tombstone have long since been eroded by the winds of time.