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Thursday, April 1, 2010

iPad Plot
















I think Apple products are really cool. True story.

Well, jumping ahead a few years, someone in my office pre-ordered an iPad which should be arriving tomorrow in our office. I will happily get to see it in action and maybe, just maybe, if the gods are really in my favor, I will get to touch it.

In my mind, I started developing the following plan: my new roommate is from France and deals entirely in cash. Therefore, she pays her rent to me in cash, I deposit the cash, and then write a check on her behalf for her rent and send it to the landlord. Well, since I have this $1000, I could wait by the door tomorrow for the deliveryman, as soon as he comes in I could grab the package and run to the airport and with my $1000 buy a ticket somewhere overseas. Then my iPad and I could live happily ever after. The perfect plan, no?

Yes, but it's a little too small-scale. I am therefore going to do some research on how the iPads are being distributed and launch a major hijacking of a shipment of iPads. I am currently taking applications for those interested in joining my team. Specifically, I need hackers, demolition experts, small-arm experts, people who can speak multiple languages, captains of the high seas, etc. etc. Please send cover letters and resumes to foodandpants@gmail.com. Thank you for your interest in my organization.