How does Trader Joe's offer such wonderful products at such low prices? The official explanation is that they "cut out the middleman." If by cutting out the middleman you mean blowing his head off, then yes, you could say that. You see, Trader Joe's has a stealth unit of operatives that journey far and wide for the best products, and said operatives employ "special techniques" to get very low prices.
One such operative, TJ7, as is his codename, has generously offered to copy Food&Pants on the dispatches he sends out to Trader Joe's headquarters. We will be showcasing some of these dispatches in the weeks, months, decades and centuries to come...
