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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Nick Nolte's Rampage (Episode II)

Let me just say, after finally completing this project and looking at the whole thing, I'm a little disturbed by it -- and I'm the one who did it! Oh well...




The Phelps' Estate...

Michael Phelps: Ok, so I am going to do a light workout, and when I'm finished I want my 3 large pizzas, 12 buckets of KFC fried chicken, 10 apples, and 5 plates of grits to be ready -- you got that?
Keri Strugg: Yes sir.

I'm so thankful for this opportunity, Mr. Phelps. Times have been tough, and it means a lot that you took a chance and hired me as your assistant.

Yeah yeah, no problem.

Also, it's soooo cool working with a fellow gold medal winner.

Damnit!

Oh, oh...what is it?

Look damnit...LOOK!

Yes, Mister Phelps, I see.

How many medals do you see?

16

That's right -- 16. That means I'm AWESOME. No one will ever be able to take them from me . I earned them, I am the man, I rule. Don't even try to compare your 1 medal with my 16.

Sorry, sir.

I'm going for a swim. Make sure my freakin' food is ready when I get out.

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Geeze, I feel like maybe he was a little harsh.

....

Maybe it's just me, though. I can be pretty overbearing...

(click)

Oh. Are you the pizza man?

No.

Oh. What is that you're holding?

It's a 9 millimeter Baretta with a silencer.

Oh. That's nice!

It's a gun.

Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye...

Oh boy.....

(phhht phhht)

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Phew. I'm tired. Ready for my food, now.

Where's my freakin' food!? Wait a second...

....

Hello, Michael.

What the hell, man? That was my assistant you off'd.

Kerri, here, didn't get your food, so I took the liberty of firing her.

Hahahahahaha (cough cough) Ahem. Anyway...

I'm freakin' Michael Phelps, you can't do this. I'm a 16 time gold medal winner!

Goodbye, Michael.

Noooo!!!!!

(phht)

No!

(phht phht)

Ahhhh.....

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Good riddance....

Hm....

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Here are your precious medals....

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The End...