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Thursday, April 24, 2008

New Psychological Disorder

Here is a press release from the American Psychological Association -- I think I have this disorder...

April 24, 2008
American Psychological Association

After years of research and statistical studies, the APA is announcing a new disorder to be listed in its upcoming DSM V Manuel. The disorder is "Compulsive Self-Haircutting Affective Disorder." It is a spectrum disorder, meaning there are levels of severity. However, to be diagnosed, one must experience the following:

1) A preoccupation with hair symmetry, particularly in the back and around the ears.
2) Frequent running of the fingers through the hair to check for evenness
3) Frequent hair trimming, mirror and tactile assessments, further trimmings, re-assessments, ad infinitum.
4) Desperately wanting the hair to be longer yet almost involuntarily cutting one's hair shorter

Treatments for this disorder include crawling into a hole and dying.