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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Horrible Glop on Turkey Burger

I went to the Mets game this past Saturday. Should I have put an apostrophe before the "s" in "Mets?" Perhaps I should have. Oh well.

Anyway, it was a beautiful day and I enjoyed the people I was with and it helped get my mind off my blotches and my recent bout with hypochondria.

The Midtown skyline from Shea Stadium

So the Mets won, whatever, I suppose that's nice. Afterwards we were going to go to the beer garden in Astoria. Upon arrival we found a line wrapped all the way around the block, and quite frankly we weren't willing to get in that line. Instead we went to a place called Fatty's Cafe.

We had mojitos, which I found quite delicious. Certainly nothing to merit writing about, though. What does merit some conversation, however, was the problematic turkey burger. The burger itself was pretty decent, I think. I really couldn't tell for sure, however, as it was completely overloaded with a 'chipotle mayo-mustard' concoction. I don't like mayonnaise so I was thinking about asking them not to put the 'chipotle mayo-mustard' on it. But I do like mustard so I figured, hey, it will probably be more mustardy than mayonnaisey. I should have gone with my initial instinct.

The chipotle crap was sickening. Way too mayonnaisy. And, for the love of goodness, there was an obscene amount on the burger. I tried scooping it off and eating it,, but when I tried the mayonaisse actually squirted out of a hole in the bun that was created by too much pressure, just like a zit that pops on its own. I ended up eating just the burger without the bun using my fork, as I was able to get a good amount of the 'sauce' off the meat. Still, it wasn't very good as it had soaked up the freaking mayo-mustard.

You can see the mayonnaise poop that I scooped off sitting on top of the lettuce. This was simply revolting.

Anyway, I think this Fatty's Cafe thought it was a really cute gourmet place or something. It's in Astoria and seems very neighborhoody. But if they think it's cute and gourmet to put a crapload of mayonnaise whatever on a burger, they're mistaken.

My mojito - I should have just stuck to that.